I can't Hold on

I let go and lost her. I won't find her again. I'm...I failed Alice. I failed Chrissie. And. And I'm done.

Too tired. So I quit. Goodbye all.

It's Become More

I'm becoming something that I am not sure of. It makes me feel like a freak. The feelings are twisted. So very twisted. I am twisting out of a familiar shape into one that I ain't too comfortable with.

Yet.

But I'm slowly turning into the monster that I was always afraid of. I need the strength now. I need the cruelty.

I need to be this for Alice.

And for her.

Crow and Names

Anyone else think it's ironic how the girl obsessed with the past is called the Maiden? After all that's what the position is about. As well as possible change. Which I doubt will happen with her.

Crow isn't one for letting things go.

Alice seems to be..well she's calling what's chasing her as the "Jabberwocky". I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign. Though she still calls the Cold Boy the Cold Boy. At least around me she does. I'm not sure if she does in private.

Either way we're literally running out of places to hide from these creatures. And I'm afraid of what they'll do once they catch up to us.

Broken Dolls

No one wants a broken doll.
No one needs a broken doll.

Unbroken dolls are beautiful pieces of art.
They hold a place in everyone's heart.

I'm a broken down old doll.
No one needs me at all.

to brite

It hhas ben dificul to rite laely...so brite..so col...i'm sory...

A Moment to Write

I'm not refusing to eat,drink or speak guys. Doubtful that anyone but Alice really cares right now. And her reasoning I understand completely.

After all I'm not of any use if I'm tired and malnourished. I wouldn't be able to protect...no..that's not her reason. She's my friend and she's concerned. I shouldn't be this awful to her. Alice needs me. I'm failing her.

But the rot has set in again. It's slower than last time but it is progressing. My teeth are jagged,my voice is rough sounding and I feel this disturbing hunger. One that I was hoping would go away and I would be fine. Funny how things never seem to go like how we plan them to.

I wasn't supposed to be this rotting disgusting creature running from beasts. I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to just go on with my life and study to be a lawyer.  Or Hell even a doctor! I'm supposed to spend time with my family and friends as we celebrate my sister and I's birthday.

I'm not supposed to be like this!! I want to go home. I want to pretend that none of this never happened. I want to see my little brother. I want to hug my Mom and my sister.

I want all of this to end...somebody please help me?

Oh please?

Involuntary Road Trip

Dear whomever cares,

We're going away.

Alice has been doing better than last time. She's coming with me to a different location that I won't share. I'm sorry,Chris. We know that you'll be reading this. But we can't stay here any longer.

It just isn't safe for us both mentally and physically. Alice did promise to write to you soon. And that she's sorry that there's no other way. We hope you forgive us.

I love you,Chris.

Good bye for now,
Tina.

Two Things I Did

One: I think I broke that thing's arm or possibly its leg. Not a hundred percent sure of which. But I think I am safe from being harmed by that bastard. So that's some good news. For once.

Two: I believe a certain blue skinned little snowboy managed to get out of this place. And I believe he had help from both glow-bitch and splinterey jerkface. Not really sure though. But I think it might've been them. Also pretty sure he's after Alice. Not sure why but I don't think he's going to be after Christine. Seems he's either uninterested in her or he can't touch her. Quite possible that he can't touch her like those fucking monster puppet people can't.

I am going to find out how that little dicey shit got out. And then I WILL KILL HIM.

I Can't Turn Back

There's no point of going home anymore.

I'm probably not welcome and I doubt there's a 'home' to go back to. I doubt there's a loving family waiting for someone like me. And I doubt that my s-Chrissie'll ever forgive me. She probably hates me almost as much as I hate myself.

That's usually how things are.

No one can hate you more than you can hate yourself. And no one'll love someone like me. This horrid,inhuman beast. I'm not fit to go back to where the 'normal' people of society are. Not fit for most the things in life.

It's my fault really. Should have just died a long ass time ago like most of the 'dolls' that bitch makes. How I survived this long is a wonder. But I guess she just made me a bit tougher than most. Well maybe not tougher but a bit better in comparison to the others. Cuz if anything,I'm not tough. Nor brave. Nor smart. Nor am I fit to live anymore.

After all this. I'm going to get a knife and go find that beast again. I doubt I'm going to kill it. Its so much bigger than I am and has more arms. But at least I'll go down fighting.

To my family..if any of you ever read this. I love you all.

To my friends. I'm so sorry for not being good enough.

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So She's Back

I'm going back to 'my' apartment in a few minutes. My sister's friend has come home at last. She didn't call like I thought she was going to. The creature that hangs out around here told me so.

Not in like words but in actions.

It was growling,hissing and generally had me in a corner like it normally has been since the girl left. But outta no where it sits very still,listens for a few minutes then just bolts. After a while I hear what it had heard and see the girl come in. She was wondering why I was in the corner but I didn't tell her why. And I'll be leaving as soon as I am done with this.

Really doubt she believes me when I say that nothing had happened. And Ma'am please don't start with me on this..I'm not in the mood to argue.

We're going back to that horrid place and you're telling me not to say anything. I really hope the other's can't hear me or we're screwed.

Can You Hear The Calling?

....horrible creature is staring at me...he won't go away...he won't leave me alone..he's been here since she left...why is he here?

He tells me that if he had the chance to,he'd rip my insides out through my mouth. That he would pop my eyes out of their sockets and eat them. As well as tear my jaw off...

I wanna go home..I WANNA GO HOME!! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

PLEASE?! I WANT TO GO HOME!! Chrissie? Nathan? ...Momma? ANYONE?! PLEAAASE!!!

shh...breathe...shh...it'll be over before you know it...

Who said...WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! I HEARD YOU. I KNOW I FUCKING HEARD YOU. SPEAK THE FUCK UP!

...my aren't we violent...such a shame...goodbye dear child...

WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING SAYING? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!  WHERE ARE YOU? DON'T LEAVE!!

p..please don't go away...please...I'm so scared..I just wanna go home...please come back and talk to me...please?


...why did you bother to speak up if you don't wanna talk? Pleaaase come back! Please? I can't be alone anymore..not with those THINGS around..please?

...I'm sorry for the swearing...please come back...please...I'm sorry...i'msorryi'msorryi'msorrypleasecomebackplease...

Shhh...don't worry little one...I'll always be here for you...I won't ever leave you...even when you die...:D

A New 'Friend' for Mistress And a Task

A child has been visiting Mistress lately.

He's been around her for a while and I'm not sure why he's so cold and pale. So very,very pale that he's blueish tinged. Like he's slowly freezing or something. But that doesn't really seem possible. He's wearing a ton of winter gear. A ton that Mistress seems to love adjusting for him.

Almost maternal-like and gentle...this would be the first time I've ever seen her so gentle..she's never gentle to us but...anyway. She wants us to help him with his new little project.

Travel is going to be involved but Mistress already volunteered us to go with him. This is why I'm posting so many blogs now. I'm going to be gone for a few days and I might post what we did when we return. I do not know the name of this freezing child but he insists we call him "The Cold Boy" for whatever fucking reason. (A freezing looking little boy being called "The Cold Boy"...is it wrong that I find this exceptionally hilarious?)

Well at least I won't have to do things to the Maiden anymore...there's that. Though it means that I won't be able to read her blog for a while either. And I've been somewhat enjoying it too. Especially considering that they really seem to hate how they can't reach her. Along with the fact that there are people helping her. They really are upset by who they are.

Won't tell me about them of course but it still amuses me how upset they are. It means that they're good people. Or at least better people than Mistress or the Lady of The Lantern could hope to be.

Tower TV

....why are they broadcasting to her for?

....no....no...not those kids. Leave them alone. Can't you please leave them alone?!

They're Burning

...heh...ha..hahaha..mmmhmmmhahahaahahaaa!!!

Oh it was so fuckin funny. So fucking funny to watch. The...The others tried to touch the door and it fucking burnt them. I can't believe how creeped out they got from touching the Maiden's door. mhmmhahahahahahaa!!

You all can't believe how much I was grinning from that. I couldn't stop laughing either. It was like the most funny thing I had ever seen. Especially a certain Hobo's expression.

Mistress thought it was my fault though. She punished me for it. But I don't fucking care. It was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.

Whoever did that can I tell you that I adore you?

Please keep it up.

There Was No Car Wreck

The hell is Maiden talking about? We've never been in one when we were children. Why does she remember this? Did they make her believe that she had been in one?

Why would they do that for?

Doesn't make sense...doesn't make any sense...none what so fucking ever...

In My Time of Un-controlledness

Mistress has decided to let me write whatever I want now. She doesn't much care for this stupid blog at all. But I like that I have sorta two things to myself.

This blog.

And sometimes my twitter account. Though I don't got anything 'tweet' worthy for it anymore. Kind of lost interest in the stupid thing. They've been using my old YouTube account for whatever. Not really paying much attention to them.

Saw some of Maiden's videos...I was the one who had put the papers there. But a certain tall boy was the one who had written them as well as drew the 'three year old' drawings. LL was the one who insisted that they be written that way. Mistress agreed to it as well.

It was cliched,annoying and fucked up.

I wish I could just seriously not have to deal with this bullshit. But even if I die..Mistress will use me...even if I die..Mistress will continue to use me...there's no real way out for me...someone please kill me.

Please?

Are You Enjoying This?

You all enjoying this?

Those fuckers are.

They enjoy watching me write this blog for Mistress. Love watching me get the brunt of your collective anger and malice. And they can't wait for you all to try and contact them.

More players means more fun and more fun means...well you can all guess.

Please don't play with them. please.

Why I beat up Another Puppet

She told me that she was going to try and do something horrible to my sister's pets. And what do I mean by horrible? Fatal Attraction Bunny-stew scene.

She was planning on boiling two kittens.

Alive.

For fun.

I couldn't have that so I beat her with a stick then my bare hands. Would've used a knife but I didn't want to kill her or use one of my sister's knives. She'd notice if it was missing.

The others broke it up after a while and put my things along with the bloodied stick in her backyard.

I got punished for that but I don't fucking care. My insides hurt like hell and I got quite a few scratches for it.

But it was absolutely worth it. :D

Poems That Make No Sense

Of course she'd want me to post stupid poems that make no sense and sound stupid. Like she couldn't do anything better than those type of posts. Not like any of the Maiden's friends are going to see these poems and ask 'the Blue Lady' questions.

Blue Lady=Lady of the Lantern

Uggh...well I gotta say they're clever for making up such an elaborate hoax to keep their Maiden distracted. All these months she thought she was a Slender-man victim. All this fucking time we thought that the Slender-man was out to get her. But nooo...it was those bitches playing a horrible little game.

Makes sense doesn't it? Not everyone saw the Slender-man and I never really remember most of my time with the fucker. So I honestly never was near him.

Oh they don't care if Maiden finds out about this...not like she can actually back out of all this now. Never really could if she knew about this from the beginning.

I'm really sorry to you all. That I didn't do more to protect her or anyone else that I've cared about. And I'm really sorry,Chrissie.

I love you and I hope that woman never regains the mind fuck control the Lady of The Lantern had on you.

Maiden of the Crows

Maiden who is called Crow. What will you do when the seeds you have planted will not grow?

Lost in the fast melting snow. Trying to remember the things you do not know.

Only thing you can do is cry. Escape is not even worth a try.

Just be ready for then things to come. You will be free when the game is done.