It's Become More

I'm becoming something that I am not sure of. It makes me feel like a freak. The feelings are twisted. So very twisted. I am twisting out of a familiar shape into one that I ain't too comfortable with.

Yet.

But I'm slowly turning into the monster that I was always afraid of. I need the strength now. I need the cruelty.

I need to be this for Alice.

And for her.

Am I A Monster

Does not being human make me a monster? I do not bleed red or require sleep like humans do. I require different food.


Does that make me a monster?


Does the fact that I feel safer covered in someone else's blood and viscera make me a monster? There are humans who feel the same. There are others who act as I do.


Does it make me a monster that I feel whole when I devour someone's flesh? That I'm myself when I drink of you? That your last moments on this earth give me life?


....it does?


.........Good.

Not Exactly the Donner Party

.....I have figured out that I can become whole. It's just not what I wanted to do to become whole.






....I'm so sorry....

I'm a Broken Dolly

Alice,my legs...my foot...I'm so sorry..I am so fucking sorry...


I failed you.


I'm a failure...

Who Can Put Me Together Again

My right foot rotted off last week. I saw it melt into a puddle of green ooze. Like this gross smell came from it too. This horrible pungent stank. It was horrible and I don't think I can run like this.



....no fucking duh I can't.



Alice doesn't know what to do. She managed to sew up the stump but that's about it. I'm falling apart. Slowly. But still falling apart. And at this rate,I won't be myself anymore. Who's going to protect Alice when I'm nothing but a puddle of green gunk on the floor?



Who's going to help her stay alive?



Someone....anyone...please...help us...

I'm Losing Sensation

Legs are bad.


Arms are worse.


Please let me be able to protect Alice,please.

We Are Who We Choose to Be

What we decide to be depends on how we view things. Take myself for instance. Green blooded creature with a fucked up face and damaged vocal cords. I'm not sure that I'm a monster in this.



Or a victim.


I have been keeping Alice alive for a while now. But I'm uncertain if it's because I care for her in the slightest. Or if I don't want to be alone. Since she seems to be my only friend right now.


Does anyone know what it's like to feel less than...I can't really describe it. It's like I'm slowly going off the tracks. Or...Or just...I don't know...


I can't find the proper way to say this. And I'm afraid that I'm getting worse. Which is bad for Alice...because if I can't keep it together,she's dead.


Or worse.